Friday, October 15, 2010

Our culture ?

Let us be a bit more adventurous and go after something fun :)

Adam Lambert performed yesterday, at Putra Indoor Stadium Bukit Jalil. There was such high amount tension on whether the concert would proceed, or not. See, Mr. Lambert is gay. And for that reason, many believe he shouldn't be allowed to perform in Malaysia. Simply because he got horny one day, and kissed somebody on stage.Hell, there was even a protest, check it out.

Demonstration against Adam Lambert concert

Hell, for the fun of it, today i will put myself in their shoes and see how it feels.

Adam Lambert performing in MALAYsia!?!?!?!?! what the fuck!? How is that allowed!? The guy is GAY! he kissed another gay guy!!!! OH MY GOD, i mean, OH MY *Word removed coz i got too scared* how can they allow it !

Think about such a thing ! This is soooo Not our culture! Gay people are dangerous and harmful to the society! WHY?......................
............................hmmm......

.................................................................

Ok i don't know why. I must be a total moron for hating something that is not harmful to anyone at all! Yeah just because gay people are nice and normal beings like us, doesn't mean I should just accept them! They are different !! My little puny mind cannot simply accept something different than all of us !

I know what I can do! I will march to stadium putra ! Instead of spending my precious time  helping orphan kids or doing something charitable, I will march to stadium putra with printed banners and flyers to protest! (Why would anyone spend time helping others anyway? Attending protest and demonstration is more fun)

I will speak for ALLLLLL the Muslim students in Malaysia! I will carry banners titled "Muslim students calls the people to not attend this haram concert!". Yes, i'm awesome because i can speak for all Muslim students. It is OK! Do not need to thank me! I spoke on your behalf! I perfectly understand how you think? What? You do not agree with me? Well, then its simple! You're not a Muslim! My puny brain told me that much!

Ok oh my god i wanted to be in their shoes the entire post, but i just can't do it anymore. Shit you guys try and be simple minded fools for a 10 minutes, and tell me its easy. I lasted this long, somebody should build me a statue.

Anyway, as I mentioned, so many people fail to accept anything different. Yes, Adam Lambert kissed some other guy on stage. But did he do it here, in Malaysia? Did he go around asking people to be gay?

So what is our culture ?

Fucking on the staircase? Or giving a blow job in some deserted place, on a motorcycle ? (the bike wasn't moving you fools,lol )

Or raping our own grandchildren? Or stealing the company's money? Robbing ? Heck, i know what is our culture. Revving our bikes, lepaking by the roadside, whistling girls with lame lines like "hi, bley knal?" Yes ladies and gentleman, Rempit, is our culture.

No, of course not, i was being sarcastic. ( Never know, too many idiots in this world, you have to start pointing out to people that you're sarcastic nowadays.)  If those aren't our culture, why aren't anyone out there giving out flyers or standing shouting with banners against rapist?

Adam Lambert is gay. Yes. But he will easily be a million times a better person that all of those standing there protesting with their banners. Lambert receives all kinds of gifts and souvenirs during his Glam Nation Tour. This line, was what he posted on his twitter.

"Instead of giving me gifts, why not donate 2 donorschoose.org or other charity in my name? U can print a reciept [sic] 4 me and personalize it:) What are your thoughts?"

The very gay guy that you idiots protested, actually wished to help others. His Glam Nation Tour not only would generate income, provide job opportunity for those in event line, sound and lighting, media, etc, the tour also helps a charitable organization. 

And people protest against that ? Worst, they claim to speak for ALL MUSLIM university students? 

Speak for yourself. Next time, carry a banner saying "Saya, Norabibahu bt habulu kecam tindakan kerajaan luluskan konsert Lambert". So then at least we would know your name, now that we've seen your ugly face =D 

I personally do not like Lambert. But I have a good reason, his songs aren't my cup of tea. Yet, my simple reason is a million times more valid that "He is Gay." 

Note : Did the demonstration really took place? I don't know. I will get a confirmation soon. But either way, it always feels good to write against idiotic simple minded people :P

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Bachelor of Arts (Hons) LaLa Studies

Course Classification : BA (Hons)
Course Mode : Full time
Course Duration : 2 Years

Introduction :-

The lifestyle of Ah Lians and Ah Bengs have evolved into the modern world more rapidly than many expected. To prevent young adults and teenagers from venturing into the seafood world wrongly, the University is now offering a full comprehensive course on everything you need to know about being a lala.

This is an ideal course for those who believe that bad fashion is the right way, English is a stupid language, everyone should speak mandarin and guys who look like girls and carry handbags are hot. If you have all this qualities, this is definitely the right course for you!

Through out your studies, you will encounter numerous different problems posed by the society. This does not mean that the society is right and you are wrong. It merely shows that nobody else is stupid enough to accept this lifestyle. As the course progresses, you will learn the skills needed to remain looking like an idiot, but cool to other seafood.

Course Content :
Year 1
Introduction to Lalaism
Online Chinese Gaming
Advanced Mathematics
Ridiculous Fashion Sense
Cursing in Chinese 101
Cursing in Chinese 121
Cursing in Chinese 124
Cursing in Chinese 214 (Yes, we emphasize in your chinese cursing ability. Final year students should be able to curse in super combined short form, knnccbcbh)

Year 2
Places of Interest
Lala Camwhoring numbered system
Lala Facebook page
Bad English 001
Bad English 0001
Socks and Skirts
Hair Colouring
Trance and Techno
Ugly Vinyls and Noisy Honda City
Final Year Project


Entry Requirements :

1. Pass SPM with at least 3 credits.
2. IELTS maximum score of 6.0. Anyone scored higher can attend our Bad English crash course before re-applying again.


Teaching and Assessment :

You're course will be graded by top notch tutors hired from various shops particularly around Sg.wang and Times Square Area. All our tutors have at least 10 years of experience being idiots, i mean, being a Lala. Most of the course will be graded based on  coursework and assignments. Students will be required to submit their Lala poses through facebook while complaining "oh i look so fat liao". Tutors will then grade the assignment based on how Lala the pose is, the caption used, and the number of horrible English comments received.

Career Opportunities :
The University has strong ties with the current market. Graduates will receive placements at many top Lala Industries.

1. MCM Handphone and communications
2. 88 Cafe and Field
3. Club Feng Tau 99


Many shops are eagerly looking for Lala workers in Times square and Sg.Wang. A new location that is quickly catching up is The Asian Avenue, Sunway Pyramid. Look for the sign "Vacancy, Chinese Only".

Related Courses :
BA (Hons) Lala Fashion Design
BA (Hons) Business Studies
BA (Hons) Creative Art Design

:P

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Racism and religion, all in a day.

**WARNING! Highly sensitive blog post! If you are a devout christian, PLEASE do not read this !**

I never woke up today, expecting the day to be different than any other. It should have been the same as every other, honestly. But oh, how mistaken I was :)

As some of you know, I now work part time in a coffee shop. Dealing with customers is something i've been doing for several months, until I categorized customers based on their type :-

Type A : "I just want to chill" customers
Usually, this type are retirees and students. They came, order one awesome cappuccino ice blended or a hazelnut white coffee, maybe a sandwich or two, sit down on their computer or read a paper. They never worry much about anything else, just want some piece and quiet. I usually say a simple hi and let them do their own work. Type A is the easiest type of customer.

Type B : "I am here to eat" customer
Type B customers are there for a straight forward purpose. To eat, and leave. They have minimal comments, unless they waited half hour for their food and its still not there. They eat, pay, leave several cents of tips, and walk off. We see them again the next day. Pretty straight forward.

Type C: "I want my money's worth"
This are the "I will only pay for what is worth the money" customer. They are food critics. They eat, tell you what is nice, what is not, and how things could be improved. I honestly like customers like this. And if they think the food is really lousy, they will complain a lot. Fortunately, this doesn't happen much.

Type D : "Chris Ee" customers
While it is named after a good friend of mine, nice lad, but when it comes to the restaurant, he is horrible.Type D customers tend to make everything worst. If they do not get their food in 15 minutes, they start shouting and scolding people, making stupid comments like "If you cannot boil egg in 5 minutes what for open shop!? stupid!". They fail to realize when you boil ALOT of eggs, it takes longer. The most annoying type of customers. Generally disliked by everyone. ( i love you, if you by ANY chance read this! don't marah! lol )

I thought there was only 4 types of customers, but i was so wrong. The 5th type, "The Racist" customers, are the worst. I can patiently take many Chris Ee, but the racist comment i received today totally pissed me off. I was pretty impressed i could keep my cool and walk away.  I was told, "You are Indian, how can you work in hainanese shop?" Look, even blogger gave me a spelling error on hainanese! It doesn't give me one for Indian!!! Ok back to the topic :P Seriously, because i am an Indian, i cannot learn others culture? I cannot be a malaysian and work in a coffee shop? So what are Indians expected to do ? Collect garbage and build train tracks? Toreh getah? Typical Indian work, right ?

Yes, the comment might not be much, when you look at it from a chinese person point of view. So is the comment "balik negara asal lah." Yet, that comment stirred up so much issues. I suppose when you are the one receiving such an insult, directly, not jokingly, then you would get how bad it was.

The stupid bunch of 6 chinese men made my mood bad for a long time. Until somebody came and cheered me up. A pastor :) ! Now, how often do you get to talk to a Pastor, about you're own religion? Not Hinduism, obviously not. Vishulism, of course :P LMAO! yes, i enjoyed myself, surely. The conversation started like this

Pastor : Vishul, are you a Christian?
Me: No
Pastor : A Hindu then?
Me: No
Pastor : Freethinker then?
Me : erm...actually, Not really.

The Pastor went a bit confused then, before he asked me what am i? I swear to God (oops,god :P) that i SOOOOO nearly answered "Vishulism. Wanna learn more?"

The Pastor was trying to tell me that God died for me. That God, in the form of his son, (or something like that) died for me. And 3 days later, rose from his grave. Ok, this part did happened. I told him. "If he rose back alive, he didn't quite die didn't he?"

But somehow, the Pastor insisted that he died. The pastor probably thought i had no idea about Christianity at all, so he was spending some time telling me about the Holy Cross, and Jesus Christ.

As i was working, I wanted to end the conversation quickly. I told the pastor, that I too, talk to God everyday.  I do not believe in religion for each has a different story for God. I believe if there is God, there is only one, and whoever that is, I pray to him.

Then, the priest asked me, am i praying the right way? I asked him back, " you mean, there is such a thing called, praying the WRONG way? " He then quoted something from the bible, about "Through me, you reach God" or something like that, the one Jesus said ( you guys look it up! ) According to the Bible, it indicates that God said only those who go through Jesus and prays using the method set and fixed by the Bible gets to go to heaven. I then told him, that if that is true, God isn't so great, because he doesn't just want us to be good, he also wants us to worship him, following a certain standard method/formula/style that has been fixed. erm, actually er, Bro (upper case, i'm so nice), isn't that a bit vain ? Come on, you're like, the All-Awesome, and you want people to worship you :S ? A bit, contradicting, ain't it ????

I then told the Pastor, that God would understand us, no matter in what language we pray. Will he still insist that it has to be Jesus, i asked him, "What about those who call his Yeshua? or Hesus? Still his name, in different language, no? So to me, if God's name is Jesus, so i pray to God. Thinking like an Engineer :-

God = Jesus
Pray to God = Pray to Jesus

And yes, i told the Pastor the equation. LOL! And i asked him back, "Would God be so merciless, to punish us for not using the name, Jesus?" He actually smiled, and quoted another line from the Bible. ( I hope its the bible, i have no idea, if its something bad, i'm fucked :S ) . The Pastor said he saw God. Yeah, i too met Ironman. Fought with him as well. Wasn't easy, i know.

Dreams can do wonders.

He did leave, shaked my hand, and left saying he'll pray for me. I told him, yes, please do. And somehow, that entire incident just made my day :) I was happy :) !

Obviously, the Pastor wanted me to be a Christian. Not sure how it is in other countries, but in here, they go house to house spreading Christianity. I once went to a church (don't ask me why i went, then again, the girl was uber hot, wasn't wasted ! Too bad i'd not see her again. lol ). The church i went too, the Reverend/Priest/Pastor from international school of some priest something, (You can tell from just this, how distracting that girl was), said this exact line in one of his talks...or mass, you guys call it ? I could be wrong on the word, but this line, was exact.

"If you are a Christian, you should be fishing. If not, something is fishy about you."
It is good to spread religion, but everyone has their own rights, believes, and faith. While it is wrong to "fish" those from other religion, it is not wrong to try to get those with no faith towards God, to believe in Him. That, they are doing a good job. I hope they do keep it up then.

Yeah, i told the Pastor, I talk to God everyday. I just missed out the part, for making my life so miserable,  i hate Him :P

Death. And what comes After.

 **Wrote this when i was super sleepy and high on flu medicine, no idea at all i wrote it, seriously. Wonder why tho. Still, there it is***


   How many of us take life very lightly ? Smoking kills, yet we do it. Dangerous driving kills, yet we do it. Seatbelts, such a simple thing to buckle up, and still, we do it. And the all time favourite, alcohol, that not only can damage so many parts of your body, but also kills its victim.

 So many things can go wrong with life. Yet, we take our life lightly. We want to enjoy it, have fun with it, damage it.

  Maybe it is not that they are taking life lightly. On the contrary, they are taking death, lightly.

  What do a dying person do, right before their death? It is one thing to be in a hospital, drugged and sleeping while surgery. But it is a totally different thing in a car accident, or a heart attack. You know you're slipping away. That slowly, but surely, you will die.

  How would you feel ? Would you feel scared for yourself ? Would your family's image appear in your mind? Or would your past mistakes, comes back to haunt you at the last moment. I don't know. And i am quite sure, neither do you.

  Do not take death lightly. It is far worst feeling compared to celebrating a birth day, or mother's day. Death, is nothing more than where all that you ever was , disappears. Including everything you wish you had did. Everything.

 Turn to the people on your left. Tell them you love them. Turn to those on your right. Tell them, you miss them. Do not cry and mourn a person when they are death. Tell their story, of how they lived.

Do not wait till tomorrow. Do it today.

If i ever leave before my time is up,  i've wrote a short will. To people i want to say sorry that i never was brave enough, to people i want to say i miss them, tho i was never bothered enough.

I love you all. More than any of you know, honestly.

Love thy friends. Be it your mother, , brother, friends or a stranger.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

I hate being discriminated :(

On merdeka day, Lau Chee Kin and a friend were assaulted by a group of teenagers on his way to watch fireworks in KLCC. It is bad enough that KLCC did not have any fireworks display, Lau was attacked by a bunch of malay kids and they told him to go back to his own country. He then wrote a facebook note about the incident, which circulated everywhere and people responded and were very upset with the discrimination. If you missed the story, read it here.

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/two-friends-out-to-watch-merdeka-eve-fireworks-assaulted/

On the same day itself, police arrested Namawee. Honestly, i like him. Yeah its wrong to rap so and being vulgar, but, since when did rap music ever talked about love :P ? Well unless you're Akon, that dumb ass can't rap for nuts. Namawee was detained for his video he made about a headmistress who made racial comments.

Now, the headmistress! She i don't like. What kind of dumb educator makes a racist remark? If you don't know what remark she made, where the hell were you :@?

Namawee was detained. The headmistress is "on leave." And this issue will slowly die off and forgotten, because our media attracts our attention away with other headlines. Take my word for it, nobody would talk about this incident in 2 more weeks.

The Prime Minister keeps urging us to be unified, to push aside prejudice and racism. Then, why does Namawee gets punished, but the headmistress doesn't ? And yes, everyone answers, because the headmistress is Malay. 

Notes after notes goes out in Facebook. How Malays are not the origin in this country. How some parliament quarrel asked chinese to go away (the things you can find on youtube these days) , how Hang Tuah is actually chinese and the government never revealed that fact, I can keep going on about all the various types of notes on how the malay's are horrible and how the government keeps discriminating every other chinese there is in this country.(INDIANS! write some notes will ya!) Most, have accepted the fact, that, Malays are the majority, and as the minority race, we get discriminated. How horrible of them!
Ask yourself this. If you are the majority, would you discriminate another minority ? If the chinese or the indians are the majority, and malays are the minority, would we not discriminate them ? We wouldn't ? Because we are such understanding, caring, nice and sensitive race =)

We always hear about how the chinese and indians gets discriminated. Lets hear something new. How many of you know that discrimination, happens ALOT with the chinese community. yeah, i hear a lot of "Nooo laaaaaa". I can tell you, Yes la. You wouldn't know you see. You're chinese :)

I once ordered Chinese tea ice and paid 50 cents for it. My chinese friend sitting right beside me paid 40 cents, and we got our drinks at the same time. When i asked him to reconfirm is mine 50 cents, he said yeah and walked away. 

Walk into a shop in Sungai Wang and ask how much does a PS3 cost. Ask an Indian or a Malay to walk into the same shop, and the price is higher by RM 50. Service charge maybe, cause they have to communicate in English and not Cantonese :P Speaking English is a skill there, so maybe they charge extra for that :P

Oh, and the classic ! Look for a job application and see it written there "Chinese Only." Some people argue and say that the company is actually looking for those capable of speaking the language, since the company deals a lot with the chinese community. I know for a fact that is not true, because i have friends, Indians, who are fluent in both Mandarin and Cantonese, who were told they cannot apply because they are not Chinese. 

Oh and don't get me started with Indians! When i was studying for my SPM, I went for a Seminar for Indian students. Was one hell of a good seminar, i learned so much from it. But during the seminar, i heard at least a thousand times, " DO NOT SHARE this study tips with your malay or chinese friends! I will curse you for 7 generations if you share it ! This is not for them!" 

And i totally lost track of how many indians gave me "the look" when they see me walking with a chinese girl. Hell, some even commented and asked me "Whats wrong with you?". Like as if they see themselves in such high position compared to the other races.(They clearly have no idea i don't dig chinese girls, i love all GIRLS :P)

So tell me, aren't all this discrimination too ? Or are they just, mere benefits ? If so, then how come the advantages and bumiputra rights are a discrimination to us, and not just, mere benefits ? 

Nopez, if you think i am writing to say that we aren't discriminated, nah, you're wrong. I'm here saying we all discriminate. Or at least, those in our races do. 

But what can we do ? Nothing much. Discrimination exist in so many ways, that it just seems uncontrollable. 

But everyday, i see people rising to be different. People, who believe we can be one. As in, truly one. Not the millions of dollars spent on posters and TV commercials with the large 1 with our flag design.That concept can prove to be true the day boarding schools and public universities accept everyone equally based on their results and not a race quota system. 

I have a friend. His profile picture was "I am not a <insert race here.> I am a Malaysian." I have friends standing up and saying "why is the government so stupid and not giving out uni places when he had better results?" And those, are people who have the bumiputra rights. 

Discrimination will not stop. Or at least, not while we keep fighting for our own racial rights. Instead, fight for unity. Fight for equality. Fight for leaders who believe our skin colour does not determine what we can do. 

It would be pretty awesome, if we are colour blind, and we see all Malaysians as beige.


Selamat Hari Raya!

Slamat ari raya everyone :D !!!
Today was definitely one hell of a great day. Pretty awesome, since i bought so many stuff, but dad paid =D ( i feel evil :P )

Also, i went to farid and faiz’s house. Had awesome awesome lemang ( its so good it deserves both the awesomes) and his mom is really good at making cookies as well :O A very good day indeed :D!

So, at 2:51 am, i have decided to start writing again. Tho, i actually wanted to start a few days after merdeka, but kept procrastinating. So many recent events kept pushing me to write, to express myself of how typical and straight forward people in Malaysia can be, how easily they are manipulated, and how quick they jump to conclusions.

For those of you who have read my writings before, you would know that my work can be controversial. Difference is, while there are hundreds of blogs out there hating the government and keeps spreading racism, I on the other hand talk about common sense, friendship and unity.

However, despite what i want to talk about, being in this country I will be extra careful. I cannot afford ISA knocking my door the next day. So for those who wish to comment in here, please refrain from foul languages or attacking a certain race/religion. However, feel free to bash me up as much as you guys want, and discuss, while being sensible.

Enjoy :)